Nowadays, I tend to have more and more disturbing dreams.
I'm not sure why.

Maybe it's my conscience.

Just yesterday, I dreamt one of my school friends had cancer and came back from chemo.
she was wearing a white bandanna and had lost most of her hair.
I really felt like crying, then.

Even now, come to think of it.

The next part was my own.
I felt like I was dizzy and that I found it hard to breathe.
I started to panic.
I was thinking "Is this how I die?"

"Is this what it feels like?"

Then I got so dizzy, like my head would burst and I blacked out.

Then I woke up.

Even as I woke, I couldn't shake the feeling that I might die like this someday.
Now, even.
Maybe I've been thinking too much of death these days.



not a good sign.



God forgive me.