If You come into my heart

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I would run I would fly

if you come into my heart

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Hey. This is where I express my thoughts and feelings. Feel free to leave if you don't like it. :D

this is me)

Saturday, November 29, 2008 / 1:32 AM

I am in love.

With these boots.

I especially love the dove grey one above. I fell in love with this design ages ago. But I only found the spree today. I don't mind the chocolate one below either.

As long as I have the design!

However...
There is always a however. It might be too small and narrow for me to actually fit. Dammit. I was thinking if I should try my luck then resell it if it doesn't fit.

But it would waste my time and money. I'm still thinking...

But the design...
ARRRGHHH!

Goshdarnit.

Hey, I donated my blood on Thurs evening. Thought I couldn't or wouldn't do it. But I did. It would have nagged at my conscience anyways. Surprisingly, alot of people turned up. Not like the last time.

Anyways, thought that I would faint again. Or feel some sort of weird thing.

But I didn't this time. haha.

But I can't jinx it.

You know, I think they injected me with happy drugs while they were at it. Cos I felt so happy and buoyant after donating the blood. Not crappy and shitty and stuff like that. It never happened to me before. I usually feel dizzy and generally weak.

But maybe I'm overreacting.

But I still feel damn happy.

And I don't know why.

Maybe I'm too caught up in the narcissism of myself.
Hmm. Maybe.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008 / 12:31 AM

Say hello to my new doll.

I don't have a name for her yet, but I'll think of one. Soon. By the way, my doll is the Alice in Wonderland Dollcena by Takara Tomy. The Toy Story one is my sis'. Fell in love with it since yesterday when my sis and I looked at it in this shop at Suntec. And it's on offer. From $39.90 to $15!!

I'm such a sucker for sales.

Since I saw it, I feel like collecting all of them cause they're so darned CUTE! Alas, my finances do not permit such. I'm almost acting as if she's a BJD. lols. I have BJD envy.

Here are some of the top choices:

There are more but I couldn't possibly put them all. You can google about dollcena if you want, I'm getting lazy to type. Even lazier about everything else.

I gotta go. Updates if I can.

Monday, November 24, 2008 / 2:35 AM

I watched the proverbial sunrise
Coming up over the Pacific and
You might think I'm losing my mind
But I will shy away from the specifics

Cause I don't want you to know where I am
Cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been
This is no place to try and live my life

Stop right there
That's exactly where I lost it
See that line
Well I never should've crossed it
Stop right there
Well I never should've said that
It's the very moment that I wish that I could take back

I'm sorry for the person I became
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change
I'm ready to make sure I never become that way again
Cause who I am hates who I've been
Who I am hates who I've been

I talk to absolutely no one
Couldn't keep to myself enough
And the things bottled inside
Have finally begun to create so much pressure
That I'd soon blow up and

I heard the reverberating footsteps
Synching up to the beating of my heart
And I was positive that unless I got myself together
I would watch me fall apart

And I can't let that happen again
Cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been
This is no place to try and live my life

- Reliant K "Who I Am Hates Who I've Been"
---------------------------------------------




In this case, I kinda still hate who I am.
I'm not the person I thought I could and would be.
Instead, I became the one person I hated the most.
Me.

It doesn't make sense, but then again it does.
I can't even go out in a crowd, without emotionally distancing myself.
I take things too lightly, yet some things I take too seriously.
I criticise others when I myself are the object of my own criticisms.
I alone take the fall for my own character.
There can be no one else.
For I am who I am.
Because I am me.

I'm on ups and downs lately.
But usually I tend to blog about the downs.
I should post more on happy thoughts.
Else I sink into the depths again like I did time and time again.

I'm like a recovering addict.
Don't tempt me with things I still have no complete control over.
Else it fails.
I've already fallen into one of my old bad habits.
I don't need to fall into another.

So keep away from me if you know what's best for you.
Cos' this me ain't something you wanna be with.

Thursday, November 20, 2008 / 11:49 PM

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 Tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.

1. Do you have secrets?
Yes. A lot.

2. Would you fall in love with a boy younger than you?
Maybe. But it would still buggg the hell out of me.

3. Do you enjoy going to school?
Yes. But on some days, it's not worth it.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Save some for my future.
Spend some on myself.
Donate some to some deserving charity...those that are not well-known.
Pay back my parents/keep some funds for their happy retirement.
Start my own business and travel the world.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
Guy friend? Depends. It'll get too complicated if it doesn't work out.

6.Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?-
Being loved is more blessed but I'd rather love someone.

7. Ideal boy/girl?
Funny.
Able to keep me in track.
Wacky and weird like me.
Reliable.
Someone I can relate to.
Being nice helps.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Try and forget the person and stay the hell away from him. *even though it doesn't always work*

9. What's your fav movie?
Anything that touches me and never fails to leave a lasting impression.

10. Do you have any regrets?
Yes, many. But it has made me into who I am.

11. How would you see yourself in 10 years time?
Living abroad maybe, or travelling. Owning my own little design business. With a significant other in tow. Maybe 1 kid.

12. Who are currently the most important people to you?
My family, besties *4 musketeers* and my good school friends.

13. What kind of person do you think the person that tagged you is?
Kind, patient,will speak her mind when she wants to. Not afraid to stand up for her rights. *from personal experience, I know*

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
Married but poor. I don't deserve to live like a rich bastard. I need someone who can bring me down to earth and love me for who I am. Not what I have.

15. What is your favourite colour?
Purple and forest green.

16. Would you give all in a relationship?
Depends. Serious relationships take work.

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
I wouldn't pick one over the other. I'll just hide and never be seen again. I'm VERY indecisive.

18. Does forever exist?
Yes. In my head. I feel like I've lived forever, but I've not. Forever lives in the back of our minds, in our souls, and will still exist even if we've lost our physical bodies.

19. Name three things you would like to do before you die.
See the world.
Atone for my sins.
Live like I've never lived life before.

20. BK Vs LJS. Who's the winner?
Hello, different categories...Burger vs. chicken fillet? Not fair.

21. If you tried on a pair of shoes, and they fit, and they were the only pair left, but someone magically came to steal them from you on a flying lawnmower... What would you exclaim?

22. Boys or Girls?
Life partner. Boy.
Kids. Depends.

23. Would you consider yourself a morally upright person?
No. I live in the gray.

24. If Buzz Lightyear was real, life-sized, and was immortal - How different would this world be?
It would be a fantasy world where space exploration turned out freaky aliens that look like us and live longer than we do.

25. Would you have sex with a random stranger?
No. Have you seen STDs? Anyways, there's such a thing as commitment to the one you love. The one you are MARRIED to.

26. Do you smoke?
No. But I 2nd hand smoke. The bugger neighbours below me are a family of smokers. When I say family, it's Family.

27. Are you happy with your life?
yeah, pretty much. But I feel like there is something more.

I TAG FARAH, YAN LING, ZUU and the other 2 people reading my blog now. you.
YES, YOU!

P.S>> Linn tagged me. A wonderful person indeed.

/ 4:38 PM

"How can I decide what’s right
When you’re clouding up my mind?
I can’t win you’re losing fight
All the time

Not gonna ever own what’s mine
When you’re always taking sides
But you won’t take away my pride
No, not this time
Not this time

How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know how

The truth is hiding in your eyes
And it’s hanging on your tongue
Just boiling in my blood
But you think that I can’t see
What kind of man that you are
If you’re a man at all
Well, I will figure this one out
On my own
(I’m screaming, “I love you so”)
On my own
(My thoughts you can’t decode)

How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well, yeah
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know how

Do you see what we’ve done?
We’ve gone and made such fools
Of ourselves
Do you see what we’ve done?
We’ve gone and made such fools
Of ourselves

How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well, yeah, yeah
Well, How did we get here?
When i used to know you so well.
I think I know
I think I know

There is something I see in you
It might kill me
I want it to be true"

- from Paramore's "Decode"

how did I become this...

Sunday, November 16, 2008 / 12:19 AM

The best thing bout' tonight is we're not fighting.

Thursday, November 13, 2008 / 8:48 PM

Finally, I'm blogging again.

But I'm mostly doing this in a fit of frustration.

I'm supposed to hand in the Tan Kah Kee submission form tomorrow.

My no-good partner has ditched me cos he's busy.

Frankly, he's as unwilling as I am to do this.

But that doesn't mean you can just ditch me

and leave me to handle everything!

And there's still the BPharm conclusion to do, CSAS, the Retail Management project, and the CCN day.

How I hate our CCN day project.

Not the thing itself.

But how some people are ignoring it and not helping.

They don't want to stay back for the briefing, nor help do the poster or anything.

Or even help out in the stall.

I must admit, I am one of them sometimes...

but I still came down on my bloody fucking day off from school...

from bloody freaking Sembawang

to sell these products.

There was only Shameema and me.

I know I sound mean-spirited.

But that is how I feel.

I do not actually mind doing this.

But imagine if nobody had come down to do anything

and Shameema was alone.

It seems as if this job was pushed around,

like people thinking "someone will do it".

And in the end, it was only us 2.

Like we got stuck with the task nobody wants to do.

Where's the rest?

Half the class are already divided doing the Soya bean thing.

The other half?

I mean, even idea for CCN day wasn't solicited

and was sort of "forced" upon us,

did you all have to do this to the rest of us?

We didn't ask for it too.

You all treat us as if we're fraternizing with the enemy or something.

Or like we're always free to do things that noone else wants.

Well, I'm sick and tired of this.

So sick and tired of this fucking mess.

You can tell when I'm frustrated when I use f-u-c-k.

So

FUCK it.

Monday, November 10, 2008 / 8:54 AM

Bloody fucking hell.

Saturday, November 01, 2008 / 2:19 AM

You're probably wondering why I'm blogging at about 2a.m. in the morning.

1. Cos' I'm bored.
And partially cos' I don't wanna go to school on a Saturday trying to do some Open House Orientation. I only knew about this like less than an hour ago and now I have only a few hours left til I have to "wake up" and go to my frikkin' far school.

2. I'm long overdue for a post.
I've been meaning to post but every time I open the Create Post window, something or other distracts me. Maybe I'm just in denial of things happening. I don't know. Laziness?

3. I wanna share some "good" news.
The Innovation Competition that me and AlexZz entered, with ALOT of help from Mr Daniel...
We won SILVER! lols. Didn't think we would win. The look from panel of judges didn't seem promising. I'm quite surprised that we won. If we get any winnings, we have to thank Daniel with some of it.

Anyways, more to post later.

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