If You come into my heart

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I would run I would fly

if you come into my heart

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Hey. This is where I express my thoughts and feelings. Feel free to leave if you don't like it. :D

this is me)

Friday, May 30, 2008 / 9:11 PM

"Sometimes it’s hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can’t see
to reach my destiny?
I want to take control, but I know better

Forget the fear, it’s just a crutch
That tries to hold you back and turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just try
(Try, try, try"

- "Unbreakable" by Fireflight

I love to walk at night.
It gives me the peace and serenity to think.
To ponder.
Life just seems so surreal for me.
It doesn't feel like reality.

Lately, I've been having disturbing dreams.
Weird thoughts.
Well, not lately (more like since I was born) , just that it's been getting weirder lately.
I'm supposed to be studying.
hah.

Anyways, I've been hooked onto this song ever since I first heard it this morning.
It resonates so deeply in my soul.
I feel like I need it.

Thursday, May 29, 2008 / 9:36 AM

This is so weird. So unlike me. I think I've changed. NOT for the better. Mixed feelings abound.

And it's making me crazy.

Sometimes, I think I just think too much. Worry, worry, think, worry, think, think. Dang.

And now I'm not studying as hard as I used to. Which was not very much anyways. But still, some studying is better than NO studying. My head is very much in the clouds. I'm thinking about fashion, sewing, selling stuff, making stuff. Anything but what I'm supposed to. And I'm having confusing, weird thoughts about what I'm supposed to be. And what I want to be. Now I know why we teenagers have a hard time of it. It sucks. Big time. Hormones running at an all-time high. Feelings running amok.

I'm way too paranoid and crazy for my own liking. I try to stop thinking bout it, but I can't. Seems my hardwiring is programmed this way. Not that I'm damaged or anything. Just mis-wired.

Shucks.

Sunday, May 25, 2008 / 7:31 PM

Wot's this? A Mad Hatter? Mad as can be...

A pink top hat. Mini, mini me.

And made out of pink duck tape, an old file and lots of creativity. Haphazardly, as you can see.

And, why yes, my magnificent skinny tie collection. RED/BLACK stripes, PINK/BLACK stripes,
BLACK/PINK polka dots and red and blue-green checkers. A bargain at $2 each. Yay, for me!

INANE posts, my specialty.

Thursday, May 22, 2008 / 11:43 AM

I'm at the library computer and I've just finished watching this super sad Korean animation movie. In many ways, it's similar to Spirited Away, yet another one of my favourite and most touching movies af all time. The concept is remarkably similar. I thought that it would be a boring movie but it was really angaging and touching. I almost had to stop myself from shedding embarrassing tears in the library. In front of a computer.

Anyway, the title of the movie is Yobi : The Five Tailed Fox. I'm recommending this to anyone who has a heart.

P.S>> I REALLY MUST GO AND STUDY. NOW. I MEAN IT. AFTER THIS>

Saturday, May 17, 2008 / 11:48 AM

Crappy PMS. It doesn't help that things have been going crappy lately. I've been wanting to blog, but something else always happens. Idiot. Well, now I'm going to devote this space to what I wanna vent out.

So many things. Well, I'll start with the latest.

I'm so frustrated at life sometimes. At my mum too. She says that we don't help out with the house at all. That she has to push us to do things. But it's not true, dammit. I do take the initiative to do stuff around the house. If anything, usually I'm the first one to bitch about it to my siblings and tell them to do something. If only to shout at them before my mother does. I mean, don't they think at ALL? What the fucking hell. Even if I don't do something big, I do help out. Like vacuuming the floor every other day, washing the toilet or folding the clothes. I have to prod the rest to do stuff before they even do it. And they give me those faces when they do. The fuck. I'm spewing out expletives cos' I feel so damned angry. And my mum still says we don't do a thing. %#$@ %#$%*#&^$#^&$#^$#^$#

And another thing, my siblings didn't even bother to do anything for mother's day. They gave me that stupid fucking face. Again. I was thinking of doing something special but since my family, aunts and cousins were going out that day. We didn't have a chance. So I brainstormed with my second sis and eventually came out with a plan to buy her the sandals she wanted. Since I had only a 1 hr lec on Mon, I went to Suntec City to look for the sandal. I went round and round and couldn't find it. Turns out it was only on sale on Sat and Sun so they took down the sign. I had actually gone into the right shop. I couldn't find the shop cos' it wasn't me that went shopping with her the previous time. Finally the nice manager (a friendly old man), got me the right sandal. Great service too. :D Brightened up my day! I also went to Spotlight and another crafting shop. Seriously, if the stuff weren't so expensive, I'd have bought a load of stuff. I bought the eyelet setter I was looking for for ages. Cheap too.

When I went home, I wrapped up the present and stuffed it in the closet where she would find it later. The anticipation was killing me, but it was worth it for all the trouble I went to. She was so surprised and happy.

I found a lot of great finds along these few weeks:

eyelet setter at $6
white ribbon cuffed EGA blouse at $9.90
black silver-collar vest at $15 (given that I was searching for a year for a nice reasonable price and design - there was a gorgeous one that cost $50 mind you.
a free pattern online that I can alter for my cosplay
cute stuff at Daiso
a $5 unique red-line men's shirt
And I saw MANY more cute stuff I'm so tempted to buy

Well, I'm gonna end my post on this light note cos I feel happier than when I started. I'll see if I can bear to break this brief moment of happiness (or if something else does). Hopefully not...

Monday, May 12, 2008 / 8:56 AM

I don't really feel like blogging anymore. Even though many events have happened over the past few weeks. I think I'm not studying at all. This has got to stop. If not, my grades are going to go bust.

Somebody stop me.

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