Half of the bloody mop fell off. It just fell out while I was mopping the sales floor. One whole "clump" of it. lolx. Then I felt like a thief. You know the drill. Open grille. Crawl in. Take stuff. Open grille again. Push loot out and crawl out. In this case, the loot was my black bag. Nothing much to say...

I wonder if Sya has moved yet? And did I mention, tomorrow's my birthday?

I became Hercules and Cinderella all in the same night. Since now I do the closing in the shop, I have to hold the metal grilles halfway down, with my hand. It's not light, mind you. What's more, there were a few guys that took their time in coming out. I felt like I'm in the Greek tale of Hercules holding up the heavens in his 12 tasks. They did offer to help hold it after they saw they they were holding me up from closing the grille. Afterwards, I transformed into Cinderella (albeit an uglier and fatter version...), mopping and sweeping the floor. The mop practically dismantled as I mopped. Occasionally finding bits of mop string on the floor. I collected a whole bucket of them. lolx.

Went out today to watch Happy Feet at VivoCity with Sya and Nithya. Farah had to work. Of course, now she has no life. Her words. Not mine. So we went and watched it at 11:00 in the morning. We were so kiasu. Went there at about 10 plus. OK lah, the movie was quite funny. "I heard an animal sing that to me once. He rolled over. It was dead." and my all time favourite..."I got to trick myself into doing it. 'Look over there! What? Ahhhhhhhhh'". haha.

Then we travelled all the way to Jurong just to eat ZingDo at my request. Nithya got disgusted at the sight of the food and that left Sya and me to eat the Chicken Bulgogi Set. Ahhh. Yum. Nithya had to go home and Sya had to pray so after we dropped Nithya off, we went in search of the elusive mosque. At Jurong. Cannot find. Went Boon Lay. Negative. Lakeside. Yeah. Had to ask her cousin where it was. We bounced all over the place looking for one. Kept going up and down MRT. Of course, I prayed too. My soul is already going to rot in Hell. Figures. Then, we went back to Jurong, to IMM. Went around Daiso for a while and left.

Actually, nowadays I'm too bushed to write. Dunno why. Too tired to know why. But something happened just now. A man asked for a bit of money to send him home. He was old, and a bit hard of sight. We gave him the exact change to go to Sembawang, $1.70. We were worried that he would need a bit more money because of the $1 deposit. When we turned back to help, he took out a $2 not from his pocket. Well, I'm not one to throw stones but didn't we give him shillings? Maybe he needed the money to eat? I don't know. It's better off not knowing. Better off giving him the benefit of the doubt than to err in accusing him wrongly.

Horrible.

Well, not exactly. But close. I'm a newbie and don't know anything. I am so blur of the place and yet people can still ask me questions. For you info, today is my first day on the job. We reached HQ almost around 9, then were asked to fill in forms and sign contracts. We got uniforms, assignments to which branch and then were told to head out. Scary. Alone. I got Caltex House. Suay, man. Cos' that's where all the business types go. Sure to be asked many questions. I haven't even started for 10 minutes and someone asked me where the hairbrushes were. I didn't even know where anything was, for goodness sakes'. Then, she asked "Do you know what is a hairbrush?" in an irritated, angry tone. Goodness. I can't blame her for being puzzled over a staff's lack of knowledge of the products. But do you have to insult me while you're at it?!

The day was off to an embarassing start as...eh hmm...can see "tabung amal". Purple colour some more. So I had to change to standard-issue pants. Damn. But at least now I know where some of the things are. Maybe I'll draw up a map. And a list while I'm at it...

Bought my "uniform" today at Toa Payoh. Black pants. Black shoes. The shoes were a steal. They were on offer. $15. But a tad too small. My right foot couldn't even fit in but the left side was very snug. I asked the guy whether he had a bigger size but he said it was the last biggest size. He asked if it could fit. Then I explained the problem and he offered to expand the shoe half a size (I didn't know it was even possible...). So I said yes. And they fit. Albeit a bit tight, but he said they would expand. The guy smild all the way and didn't show any face. What customer service. What a smile. So sweet. I like. lolx.

The pants that were at Song there were too big. I ended up buying pants at This Fashion at Sembawang because there was no other place to buy and that was the "cheapest". Comparatively. $25. My mother is going to kill me. Well, tomorrow is work day. I hope it turns out well.

I got a job.

Me, Farah wanted to go interview for Watson's Personal Care Stores. We invited Sharmila along. Realised it was too late to go to the morning interview so we went to Farah's grandma's house, ate and relaxed for a bit. Called up numbers for interviews in the Classifieds. Ate burger, drank Milo...

Cut to the chase. We went to City Hall, veered off to The Adelphi (never heard of it before...) opp. Funan. We weren't sure of the place because Farah was the one who first found the job. She forgot the floor so we wandered about the 4th floor, only to realise that we had to take a lift to the private offices above after she called in a "lifeline". I tell you, going for a job interview is scary for a person who is not exactly bubbly or people-oriented.

We were about half an hour early but that was fine. We were first to go in. Well, I was. But they allowed us friends to go through together. phew. The interviewer was friendly and a bit funny so we were fine as she outlined what was going to come with the job of "Sales Associate" (sounds so big...). But we GOT IT! (okay, let me not mess this up by jinxing anything more...) Sharm and me are applying for part-time, Farah applied for permanent part-time. Longer hours, bigger pay. Well, we'll see what it's like first then I'll go for an upgrade.

Yeah, well this is like an anticlimax but we went walking around Boat Quay and the Esplanade. We also went to VivoCity. Damn, it was big. I got overwhelmed just looking at it. I got a big headache from all the activity and people around. I'm too tired to write. Got PAE briefing tomorrow and I don't want to go.

Just watched Heart. Oh my God. So sad I actually shed tears. But I knew what was going to happen in the end. Just intuitively knew. But the ending was perfect for the story. It really set it off. wow. Now I can add a new favourite to my list...

...But if that were really to happen, I would want it to be that way.

Just came back from Hari Raya-ing. Most of the Malay class was there. Who? I'm not even going to go there...Suffice to say, it was better than last year's. Although I truly can't live down the shame. OhmyGod. Nevermind. This year we hired a bus to "chauffeur" us around. Yeah, I thought it would be bad but it was fun. Got to go around 14 houses. And that's a lot considering. We could have gone to more but we thought we had all the time in the world...

The boys were damn rowdy. Vulgarities flew at a record pace. Body slamming and screaming was a normality there. Every chance they could get. It was lucky we got a bus driver that was tolerant also of their racist remarks. But sometimes, they were just fine. It also seems that You and Hajar are a "couple". It was so funny. He called her mom "mak". haha.

But I still can't believe one thing. I was so "perasan". Not blatantly, but silently. Plus, I was "flirting". Whaddehell?! Acting weird, and unlike myself. Staring at certain people so intently, I was sure they were suspicious. I can't help myself if my face is like that. I got to learn to mask it. Definitely. I'm sure they felt as if a wolf was going to stalk them down. The wolf being me. sigh. hormones...

All 7 down. And no more! I'm finally free of my restricting cage. However, I cannot fully rejoice my new-found freedom for I have just acquired a sprained muscle in my foot. It was after the paper, I think. I only felt its full effects once I was on my way home. As I walked, it grew worse. Damn. Luckily, my mother offered to massage it. By then, I was asleep. No worries. The pain of it caused me to awake.

Now I wonder if I'm able to go "jalan raya" tomorrow. We might be using a bus because they want to visit all 28 houses in one day. Gila. They said that's why they want to hire the bus. $15 is what everyone is supposed to pay. Might as well I don't go jalan raya. All the money would be gone by then. But anyways, you cannot visit 28 houses in less than 24 hours. You need to consider that you can't just stay for 5 minutes then leave abruptly. It's rude. Also, it's not called "jalan" raya if you never jalan.

I now want to find a job. Most want Mandarin speaking people. Now I wish I knew Mandarin. Maybe a packer or a salesgirl. Behind the scenes staff. I'm not exactly people-oriented.

Maybe I'm just dramatising. Maybe I'm just complaining. Maybe I just want to let my feelings be expressed. But whatever it is, I just want to get it out of my system. Been having bouts of emotional distress (crying, anger, etc...). All mostly triggered by members of my family. Hah.

It seems that everytime I have been "delegated" to kitchen duty. Not by choice or direction. But the pressure of being the eldest daughter and possibly the mantle of responsibility. I DETEST this. For one thing, the person who spends her time on the computer 20 hours a day, Munirah, does not help around the house unless otherwise told. So goes Ahmad. Maybe I'm just PMS-ing (pre-menstrual syndrome) but I'm damn FED UP!!! I just feel like- I don't know. Bust up. Everytime I look at things in the house, I see things that need to be cleaned. Arranged. Done. All they see is something that somebody would pick up sooner or later, if they ignore it long enough. DAMN YOU! They go blithely about their lives while I sit here and worry. Worry. Worry. Worry. They think I don't have to study, do they? What, my "O"s aren't important? Just because I don't look like I'm doing anything, doesn't mean I'm not worried or revising.

My mother takes me for granted sometimes. Just because I stick to her because I have nothing else to do and noone to be with, it doesn't mean that I'm going to be an ever dutiful daughter while the others just sit and enjoy life on a platter. I don't mean I'm not like that sometimes, but do I have to take the blame for what they are supposed to be doing also? I don't understand people. I don't do anything right. I can't please anybody. I'm too fat for thin society. Too thin for fat society. Not average either. Not ugly. Not pretty. Not even gosh darned cute. I don't know where I am, honestly. Really, isn't that an original topic that just hasn't been discussed by any and every teenager? Wow. I'm so impressed with myself. Brava. Now I'll tell myself to shut up and move on.

Finally. The computer is fixed. I must resist the temptation to overuse it. *rubs hands gleefully*. hahaha. But too bad it wasn't fixed in time to blog my "O" level stress reports. Only 2 more papers to go. Chem and Phys. I still think I'm not going to be doing very well. For one thing, I'm slacking. I wonder how I'm going to do. The best thing is to just look forward and do my best.

Nowadays, I'm getting more wound up and crazy. The littlest things set me off. I don't know. I'm just taking things one step at a time. A lot of problems have occured. Mostly relationship problems. Not mine, of course. I don't have any to lament on :). Which should be good for me. I'm not the type whose boyfriend is likely to survive at the end of the relationship. I cut my hair recently. By myself. Just took a pair of scissors and hacked it off. Well, "hacked" is kinda harsh. It looked very uneven at first but after a few more snips, voila. Instant haircut. The unevenness added to the edgy factor (but that just might be wishful thinking...).

Yello! It's me. Again. Been on the upswing and downswing of moods. Thanks to my sis, I'm now able to blog a final time *sniff* before I...Never mind, I'm trying to study now for my "O"s, and failing miserably. I am acting like a total nutcase. The atmosphere is like a pressure cooker. Suffice to say, I'm the pot roast for today. Well, so far, the papers were okay. I'm not saying anything else for fear of disappointing myself later on. Hopefully, the computer will be fixed after my "O"s and my results come out as I hoped for. I'm starting to babble...I should probably stop now...