Just watched Final Destination 3 today with Joann, Chithrra and Farah. I woke up this morning feeling like hell. Got a fever of 39 deg. so I didn't go to school. Haha...wasted anyway cos it was only a half-day today. But I was still adamant about going bowling because I had waited for more than a week. In the end, we went to see a movie because practically everybody in our group was sick. And because my mother afraid I drop the ball. Dang.

Anyways, it was kind of a girls' day out. Again. Got neoprints and we also played at Timezone, (Fast and the Furious and House of the Dead 4) Can you believe it, we saw alot of people from our school. Jing Kai, Eugene, Andrew and Woei Ming, people from 4E4, 4E5 and 4E6....aiyah, too many too name lah....What was funnier was that Farah and Joann closed their eyes for like half the movie....lolx...What a waste of money. Too bad.

On the way back home, Joann said that she saw an accident before we met up. That was before we decided to watch FD3. It scared the shit out of me because it was kind of like a bad omen. Especially when we are going to watch the movie. But I'm not going to comment on that...

Woohoo! Watashi wa no kattaze! Finished my CT1. I'm free at last from my temporary cage. Still have a bigger one to get out of. Anyways, got my Maths results...not too bad. Got 39/40, got B3. Well, going bowling on Monday with Chithrra, Joann, Farah and Azhar. (maybe...) They are still undecided but I really want to go. We had planned this for a week and they say they might not be going! This outing had been my sole motivator to finish my exams fast enough so that I can go. Arrgh!

Looks like everytime I go "study" at WRL with Chithrra, Farah and Joann, I end up doing nothing. Maybe "scan" a few guys or take neoprint or what. Haha...Anyways, yesterday, I went to Sun Plaza. Like crazy teenage girls, we went straight to This Fashion's mini-sale...And ended up helping Joann look for an outfit for her Catholic confirmation ceremony on Sunday. She had already got a skirt but she wanted me to help her look for matching clothes, shoes. She already had an eye on a top but it kind of didn't match. So she enlisted my help, future personal image and fashion consultant. :p

I really think i can become a personal image and fashion consultant. I have a flair for matching and designing clothes. (P.S. If I had enough money or sewing skills, I would have a lot of fabulous clothes...Dang it...I have neither.) Lolx...I have "reki"ed This Fashion and have come up with a few options. Time to makeover!

Endnote: I wasn't REALLY sure about what I felt about certain people until today. So the startling revelation came around and bit me in the ass just to let me know.Thank you ...

I have always been invisible. Always, forever and will be. I didn't intend it to be that way but it seems that the rest of the world has made me so. I am typing this blog with blurry eyes as my tears fall unbidden. Have been crying a lot lately. I think that I have gone into a state of depre
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ion. Life doesn't seem to have as much meaning as before. Haha...the first time I got asked at by a guy and surprise, no uproar. No trumpets, no cannons. Even my family doesn't care about me anymore...(refer to previous posts). I try to be nice and this is what I get. I wanted to change myself from the cynical, bitter and angry me to the nice, friendly, likeable one. But I failed. I'll die knowing that I didn't change the world.

Not fair. I can't get what I want sometimes when I ask it but my brother and GE sister can....I know this sounds petty but I can't help it. Just because they were cleverer than I was at their age and they are "babies of the family", they get what they want without asking. I have to shout with a loudspeaker before I get heard. Anyways, who said life was fair? I should have reverted to the old, tough me...

The man belowstairs is "stealing" water again. Can't he just pay bills like everyone else? He doesn't want to pay but we have to....We have to pay the conservancy bills and he gets the water. Bloody f@&*ing idiot!!!

If she saw what I was doing, she would be scarred for life. Hell, even I would be too. (note my toned down profanity...) I wonder what she thinks...

It feels like I shouldn't have gotten that A1. Nothing has really changed. Man, what did I expect? A grand celebration? Nobody asked me what I got. I know it sounds conceited and everything but why can't people be happy for me whn I want to be happy/ My father hasn't asked me what I got. My mother says work harder and my whole family acts like its no big deal. What? Am I stupid? Even a stupid person (no offense...) who gets an A1 gets a bigger reaction then this. Is it just because I am in Higher Mother Tongue that they expect me to get this kind of results...and therefore ignore me? They should congratulate me because I get A1 for my hard work not because it's "expected" of me... Sometimes I hate you...

My results are out. I cried when I saw my results. I really couldn't believe it when I saw what I got...I got an A1. Really. I was prepared to get B3 or A2 at most. Mdm Ng Bee Ling told us that distinction for malay in our school was 50% so I thought that I was confirmed B3.

I cried because I was so shocked. I couldn't take the shock so I cried and people thought I had really bad results. I kind of cried even more when I felt sad and guilty over Farah's B3 amd my A1. I couln't have gotten A1. We must have switched our grades. The look on her face was heartbreaking...

Got a letter yesterday. From The Ministry of Education. They sent me a letter about the Joint Admissions Exercise (JAE). Said that "Congratulations, you have completed your 'O' levels" then muttered a lot of shit about going for the JAE and stuff. Firstly, I haven't completed my 'O' s. I'm taking them this year (the Malay 'O' doen't count). Secondly, how am I going to go for the JAE if I'm still schoolong. SDoes that mean I go for poly or JC half-way? Please lah...When are the results coming out anyways?...