I am quite speechless as to what has happened.

Anger. Frustration. Disappointment.

Partly at myself.
For being so childish.
For being so cowardly.
For being so short-tempered.
For being so short-sighted.

I don't bloody care if I lose your respect.
You lost mine long ago.
Gradually.
Though I didn't realise it.

I know you didn't come into this project willingly.
Neither did I.
But I'm gonna make the best of it.
I may sound like a martyr, but
I'm not.
Far from one.
Think what you will.
I have flaws too.

I didn't wanna force you into doing something you didn't want to do.
I didn't want to bug you.
So I tried not to bother you unless necessary.

You know how I think you were uninterested?
Why I keep saying so and even offered you an option to back out?
You keep saying that you''ll go with anything.
But you push everything to me.
Contacting Daniel and Mr Tan.
Doing the writeup.
Taking the initiative.

I know we're all busy.

But really.
Even at the start, at the first presentation, you kept an attitude of indifference.
Everybody else talked with their team mates.
Still, I tried to be upbeat.

Yes, you're clever and busy with alot of other things.
I'm supposed to be the "leader".
And this isn't even an idea that originated from either of us.


I just realised something.


Why waste my time talking about this person?
They're gonna think I'm childish, selfish and pushy anyways.
They're not gonna respect me.
They're gonna think I'm a bloody martyr and are complaining.


sobloodyfuckingwhat.

Think what you will.
You're the one that has to decide.