There is a Chad Michael Murray lookalike in my class. A chinese basketballer version. Very shy. Doesn't even dance or play the games. I seem to be always in close proximity to him. Maybe I did it in a subconsious way, although I try not to. Cos' I'm afraid I will be mistaken for "stalking" him or something. But I think he already think that. sigh. Damn.

This brings me to the topic of guys, liking people and other assorted stuff. Having people know that I like people is not my style. I don't want people to know I like them. I'd rather like someone secretly. I don't hope to be in a relationship with people. I just want to admire them secretly. Like admire their qualities or face from afar. That's enough for me. Cos' I have a feeling that I am a commitment-phobe. Usually, it happens to guys. But I guess I have trust and people issues. I'm weird that way. But there are alot of nice guys at AS. Michael (not the Chad Michael Murray, the ASc organiser) is cute in a clean, nerdy way. Rubayn is a goofy, fun guy. Wei Juan is a matured nice guy. In fact, most of them (at least for my ship) are cute in a clean, "nice guy" look way. Like Leslie and the other OLs. the female OLs are chiobus or cute. hehe...Okay, I'm jealous that they're so cute. I have insecurity issues stemming from my perception of my non-existant beauty. Yet another of my many faults. Can I not be so plagued by self-doubt? Yes. I just have to find myself, that's all. I just pray to God for the strength to help myself.