I have just come back from my self-imposed solitude in my room. Psycho-analysed myself for about maybe half a hour or more. By psycho-analysed I mean talked to myself. Alone. At first I was crying, then I thought to myself "Why should I cry at all?". Then slowly talked to myself, tried to rationalise myself and my actions. It turned out to be a therapy session for myself by myself. I talked about my actions, my personality weaknesses, my faults in life. Everything I could think of. At first, I was enraged at myself and everyody else. But then I realised I had no one to blame but myself. I became calm after a while. It's like letting go. Of being true to yourself. It was cleansing. The whole thing that started this was stupid: My mother scolding me and me screaming that she was right "Yeah, I'm blind, stupid and lazy!", but it started off a "letting go" process. I know I blame everybody else for my mistakes, am selfish, vain, too absorbed in self-image and what others think about me. I try to please everybody and leave myself in the dumps. I am not honest with myself, am lazy and also a perfectionist (Don't know how you can combine those two together). But now I have accepted that I am what I am. I can't change that. But I can try and be honest with myself as much as I can and try to correct my faults, even though I might fall and get disheartened now and then. It was weird talking to myself. But I know that God has give me the courage to go on living with myself. God bless.