Well, I think I'm getting either more paranoid or just plain ol' crazy. I keep thinking that someone likes me. I dunno whether that is true but I think I "perasantan" only. Shiok sendiri, some may call it. And I'm getting more obsessed with the "ideal" body shape. I keep looking at all those skinny sticks on the road and then I turn green. Very green. Hulk green. I SMASH! I BASH! The more I think about it, the more I go crazy. Not entirely about the body thing but just about everything. The prelims, the 'O's, the insanity of being a hormonal teenager with crushes and goodness knowa what else. Sometimes I just feel like I can't take it anymore. I can't concentrate properly nowadays. So much so that just now I stood at the entry gate at the MRT for some time before I realised that the gate was open. BOdoh! I keep yawning and I can't seem to get enough sleep no matter how long.

I just hate this. I can't seem to find God anymore. I've lost my sense of religion. I've lost the meaning of life. Sometimes, I think about what I'm supposed to do in my life and what my purpose in living is. The answer is bleak. It seems like I'm the only one living in a standstill while the rest of the world is whizzing by. I dunno. I wish that I could immerse myself in else to stop feeling this way. The tiny fragments of time where I can actually feel my life are so brief and shortlived. God help me should I die cos' the road to hell is paved with good intentions...