Wednesday, May 17, 2006 / 6:08 PM
I had a very bad nightmare just now. Very very bad. I'm trying hard not to cry over it. And it's a dream within a dream within a dream. Something I had a while ago before the Mid-Years. Sometimes I keep having nightmares and it's scary. This dream was different, someone I love died in a horrible freak accident in front of my eyes. She was standing beside a gas tank (I don't know why...) and then we chided her for crossing the road when the cars were moving. Someone beside us, a stranger, threw a rock at her because they agreed with us. We warned her not to throw it because of the gas tank. But she had already thrown it. I told my sister to run. The gas tank didn't seem to be affected but then it started to catch fire. My sister couln't run away fast enough; she caught fire and burned. It was horrible. I saw her burn in front of my eyes, wither away. Then I realised that the tank was going to explode. So I shouted for everyone to run into shelter in the form of the MRT station of some sort nearby. We all ran and could feel the blast as we reached safety. Even in the dream, I could feel the loss of my sister.
It turns out, the MRT station was some sort of airport or transportation station. It felt so real and I was still reeling from the loss. My mother suggested we take a transport to another country and start over. Then it shifted. I appeared that the dream just now was actually a dream in my dream. She did not die. Thank God. But things started happening and it shifted again. It turns out that the dream that was supposedly just a dream in my dream was actually true. The fact that it was just a dream WAS in fact just a dream. She was gone. And then, I said something like "They can't feel the fire" or something like that. And then someone caught fire and died. Again.
I can't take it. I wake up and it feels so real but I prayed that it wasn't and that I would never have to face those kind of dreams again. I keep having weird nightmares. Like of g***ts and things that wanted to eat me up. Where is my dream guardian? The one that was supposed to protect me in my dreams? I wish I had a knight in shining armor to save me. Or anyone. Just save me from myself. I hope I'm able to wake up.
It turns out, the MRT station was some sort of airport or transportation station. It felt so real and I was still reeling from the loss. My mother suggested we take a transport to another country and start over. Then it shifted. I appeared that the dream just now was actually a dream in my dream. She did not die. Thank God. But things started happening and it shifted again. It turns out that the dream that was supposedly just a dream in my dream was actually true. The fact that it was just a dream WAS in fact just a dream. She was gone. And then, I said something like "They can't feel the fire" or something like that. And then someone caught fire and died. Again.
I can't take it. I wake up and it feels so real but I prayed that it wasn't and that I would never have to face those kind of dreams again. I keep having weird nightmares. Like of g***ts and things that wanted to eat me up. Where is my dream guardian? The one that was supposed to protect me in my dreams? I wish I had a knight in shining armor to save me. Or anyone. Just save me from myself. I hope I'm able to wake up.
